New Background!

I wish all of the layouts I find for blogs weren't so girly, or shabby- chic.

They're cute, but i'd like something a little more me.

In the mean time, here's my new background for a minute!!

PS. I'm writing this to you with a Samson on my right arm.

He sends his best.

*thinkin*

When I'm feeling down, have a lot to think about, or just need to let my mind wonder to other places; I write song lyrics.

I've never understood why I choose to do it. They're not lyrics I write, they're lyrics that other bands have written.
This is going to make me sound like a total emo baby whiner, but I write lyrics to songs that I used to listen to back in middle school.
I think it's because it was the last time I had the free time to memorize an entire album and had the spare time to just sit and be able to write them

out.

For instance, I can write all of the lyrics for all of the songs on Evanescence's first album.

And in the order they came on the album.

Emo, right?

And the song Emotionless from Good Charlotte.

I've got that one down verbatim.

I certainly wish they were happier songs, for they remind me of middle school, when I thought life was really hard. Haha.

But it's what I do.

Perhaps during this summer I'll spend some time getting some different songs stuck in my "useless vat of information" bin in my brain, and I'll make them a little more positive.

Anyway, I don't know what it is that fixes my funk, but I'll write a few songs out (sometimes a few hundred times) and I'm all better!

When I can't think of a solution: I've got it.

When I've got a lot to think about: I've thought it through.

When I was bummed out: I feel better.

Maybe it's the fact that I don't have to think about the problem and focus on something else entirely.

Or maybe it's that the lyrics have become so automatic that I don't think about anything for a while.

Either way, at the end of it all, I feel better.

It's weird.

Excuse the Language....

It's just fits me so well.

So Many Things....

I want to do in this life.

I want to become a makeup artist for the stage. I love doing cool, scary, and gory makeup.

I want to get a camera and take pictures like these ones.

I want to read "A Brief History of Time" By Stephen Hawking

I want to understand as much as I can about the universe.

It absolutely fascinates me.

I want to go back to Spain.

I want to do Theatre for the Deaf.

It would combine my two greatest loves; Sign Language and Theatre.

One of these days I want to marry Kyle.

I'm young and I know it. I'm not planning on marrying him for a while. We're both so broke it would be impossible to do it now or even in the near future.

But I know he's the one. He's incredible.

I want to finally let my hair down, say "Screw it all" and follow my dreams.

I feel like right now I'm stuck in the same place doing the same thing. I know it's only temporary, but not doing theatre is driving me crazy.

I'm so busy trying to be responsible and creating a future for me and for my future family some 234 years from now.

Not to discount what I'm doing now isn't making me happy, because it is.

But I just want to get to the point where I can be happy in every aspect of my life.

I know it's going to happen for me.

The few things that matter to me in life is the happiness of my loved ones, the success of myself and my loved ones, health, and my happiness.

Also I want to live to be 100 years old.

And I want to die peacefully in my sleep; an old, happy lady.

Change

Well, I wanted change. I certainly got it. Most of it was good. Some of it was bad. I got a new car, roommates, furry friend, house, and it almost feels like a new lifestyle. Then some bad came along. Well, maybe not bad, but change I wasn't quite ready for.

Kandice went to boot camp, one of my friends Patrick moved away, and I lost a close family member. Kandice has been gone for a week and a half now, and it's been hard. I can't text her to ask her random questions, I can't text her our stupid hilarious inside jokes, and I can't call her just to talk. I really would have liked to talk to her the other day. But I have to keep on reminding myself that she's doing this for her and she's going to come out as an even more incredible girl. She's amazing. Patty Cake is missed a lot. It feels off when all of us hang out, (Chris, Andrew, Brad, Kyle, Me and Rachael) that something is missing. I miss his company. We all do. The comedic boy circle I'm used to when we all hang out has been a little lacking lately. It's like we're missing the punchline to all of the silly jokes the boys tell or something. He'll be back soon, just not soon enough. We all miss him a lot. Can't wait to have him back! <3

Then Boozdo was called back up to heaven. I know it's going to be different during family gatherings. His humor will be missed, his stories will be missed. He'll be missed. He already is.

But enough about all the bad change. Everything happens for a reason. I have to keep telling myself that. God works in mysterious ways. I may not always understand why he does the things he does for me right away, but after a while something else will happen and it's like God says, "Remember that time when this other thing happened? Yeah, now you can see why I did what I did. You can thank me." He's cool like that.

But with all the bad things, the good things were really good. My car is AWESOME. I lover her, and she finally has a name: Lady. Because that's what she is: a lady.My roommates are incredible. I feel like the place I live in is home. I haven't felt like that in a while. I just feel very loved here. (:

Samson is a monster, indeed. But he's a great cat. He loves me so much. I know this because he runs up to the door when I come home and purrs. He loves to snuggle me and he follows me around the house. No matter how badly he pisses me off sometimes, I still love him. He's just a lively kitten. I wanted a kitten that had some excitement to him so when he grew up he would be a lump-on-the-floor cat. He'd be a lively, happy cat.

Everything's pretty great about life.

I've been meaning to post this since like... yesterday morning but I was retarded and forgot the internet password for my computer.

Boozdo

Today was hard.

I lost one of my favorite uncles.

Well, they're all my favorite.

But this one was hard.

It's almost as hard as when I lost my cousin, Daniel.

Granted, I haven't been to the funeral yet.. so we'll see.

Boozdo was an incredible man.

He was so kind and wanted to help as many people as he possibly could.

He was in the National Guard and was a volunteer firefighter.

He's the funniest man I know.

I miss him so much already.

Boozdo was scary when I was little..

Not because he was mean or anything.

Just because he was SO TALL.

AND if I didn't give him a hug he'd give me a wedgie.

Seriously.

Even when he was getting sick I knew that would be the case.

Boozdo suffered from Diabetes.

It led to him becoming blind.

I know he would still bump around the house to give me a wedgie to this day.

I never missed a hug. I knew, even at the age of 21 I was not excluded from a wedgie.

Boozdo liked to give names to everyone in the family.

My cousin Christi is Fritty Jo

His sister is Cookie.

One of my cousins is Taz.

Me? I was peanut butt because I was so little.

My cousins Ashley and McKell were Cracker Ass.

Then when I got a little older I was promoted to Cracker Ass.

He still calls me that to this day.

A typical conversation would go:

"Hi Boozdo!"

*Me walking over to give him a hug*

"Cracker Ass?" He'd say.

Boozdo had been not super well for a while.

Then on wednesday he took a bad turn.

Turns out he had had a massive heart attack -- one big enough to damage the entire bottom part of his heart.

For a while he was having his heart pumped for him by balloons.

Then he started to get better.... a little.

He was off the balloons and they were getting ready to take him off of oxygen.

Then he got worse and they think he had a stroke.

This lead to a tough decision.

But one that was fair to him.

My aunt is a strong woman and she prayed for the right answer to come to him.

Boozdo had been in a lot of pain for a long time.

It was time for him to go.

So he was sent up to God today.

I feel like Boozdo was with me a few days ago and he was telling me everything was going to be okay.

He was ready for whatever had to happen.

It's a shame he had to go the way he did.

But I know he's in a better place.

A place where he can see us.

Where he can really see us, where he can watch his grandchildren grow and watch the rest of the family grow into old farts.

A place where he's not in any more pain and he's healthy.

I'll miss his humor.

One thing that never went when his eyesight did was his sense of humor.

Case in point: Boozdo was talking to a family member on the phone one day and my mom didn't want them to know she was in town.

So my mom wrote on a piece of paper for Boozdo to not tell the family member she was there.

Then she realized he couldn't see.

This led to all of us almost wetting our pants with laughter.

After Boozdo got off the phone, we told him what had happened.

His response, "Are you kidding me?! Geez, Karen."

Pretty sure he teased her about that one for a while.

He was a great man.

Things are going to be a lot more quiet around the house without him.

One thing that will change drastically is him belching and the entire family yelling "McCados!!"

It's a family thing. You wouldn't understand. (:

Rest in peace, Boozdo.

You will be missed terribly.

You already are.

I hope you're having fun up there partying with the rest of the family.

Nana, Papa, Big E, Randy, Dee, Grandpa Gross, and all the others.

Send them our love.

We'll see you on the other side.

Xoxoxox

Lately

Just a little update on things happening in the world of Destinee.

For one, work is awesome! I've never seen the office so organized and I love it!

For another thing, Samson is finally adjusted to being in a new home.

He gets pretty overly-excited when I come home if I've been gone for a while which makes him run around the house for like... 2 hours. And then he bites me in celebration.

We're working on celebrating just being he rubbing up against my leg instead of biting me.

AND

In other news, I'm going to open an Etsy shop!

I'm going to sell my hair clips and headbands I make with feathers.

I think it will be fun.

I've got a good helper in getting my business started; Rachael.

Her shop has been open since November and she's been doing really well!

She's going to help me get started ie, take my pictures, show me how to list and all that jazz.

It'll be good. A little extra income (hopefully) to battle the massive amount of taxes that are coming out of my checks from work. Sheesh.

OH!

And I'm going fishing!!!

I haven't gone since I was in Alaska (like when I was eleven) so I'm pretty excited.

Well. Yeah.

That's about it. Life's just steady right now.

Which is good.