Boy, oh boy.

Boy can life throw you some curveballs sometimes.

I never in a million years would have thought that I would go through the things that I've gone through this year.

It's been quite a year, not just for me but for a lot of my friends and family. My friends lost loved ones, relationships trembled, my cat got fleas.

If I've learned one thing through the whole flea thing is I will never buy a long or medium haired cat. ever. again.

They are impossible to get the fleas off of.

Granted, this is just the life of having a pet, they get sick. They're expensive, they're a lot of things. But their love makes it all worth it.

Samson's been quarantined to the bathroom the last little while, and it makes for sleepless nights for him, me, and mostly Brad and Rachael who sleep right next to the bathroom. I feel terrible for everyone. I feel bad that he sits in there alone all day and cries. I feel bad that Rachael is home most of the day and has to sit at home and hear him cry all day and all night.

It's hard not to get frustrated at the owner of the pet when something like this happens. But Rachael has been very understanding. I wish I was more knowledgeable about fleas so I could kick the issue faster, but I don't know much. Baths, drops, collars, combs of the flea variety haven't worked. We're all on our last leg. I apologize to everyone involved.

It seems like the last 2 weeks, my life has taken quite a turn. It's been a lot of downs, but it's had its ups, too.

I'm just trying to keep in mind that God is teaching me a lesson right now, and I need to be as patient as I can be, for he will show me the reason to all of this mess eventually. Maybe not today, maybe not this year, but I'll see it eventually.

I'm being patient, but I can't wait for all of this to be over. Finals are coming up and I don't want to have this all happening when finals start. Just the last 2 weeks of school is stressful enough. I hope the Frontline flea drops I bought fix the problem. I hope, I hope, I hope.

If they dont' work, we're going to be taking Samson to the vets to get groomed. Bathed and shaved.

That will be the last straw. If this doesn't fix the problem, I don't know what will or what I'll do.

Please say your prayers that this will all be resolved soon. For me, for Samson, and for Brad and Rachael who are losing sleep and patience. (Along with the rest of us.)

At this point I feel like prayers and a bath are our last resorts, so the more prayers the merrier.

Thanks, guys.

Awesome!

Sometimes you just need a little sign from "the gods" if you will to show you you're going in the right way.

Today I had an apsotrophe. (I know, I know, it's epiphany. Play on words. Sometimes I try to be funny.)

Intuitive Eating really works! I already had the faith. I knew it worked because of the success I've seen McKella had had, but today was one of those days that I really saw a positive change in my eating habits. I have those at least once a day, but they're usually progressive. For instance, I'll notice that I'm not as stuffed as I usually am after I eat, I'm beginning to eat less.

However, today was a totally different epiphany.

Potato chips are my vice. I can sit down with a bag of potato chips and eat almost the whole bag in one sitting. Usually afterward I feel heavy, fat, and overall pretty badly about myself. "I almost ate an entire bag of potato chips. How many calories did I just eat?"

But today I bought a bag of potato chips, came home and ate about 10 chips and stopped because I was satisfied. I put a paper clip on them and totally forgot about them. HOLD THE PRESSES. This has never happened to me before. Ever.

It was such a wonderful feeling to see that the positive change I've been wanting to happen is actually happening. I feel so good.

I'm still noticing some very positive changes in my eating habits and in my body. For example, my belly is still getting flatter. I'm drinking water like it's going out of style and it's still not because I want to, it's because it's the only thing that sounds good. I'll drink the occasional soda, but I dislike the feeling it gives me after I drink it. I feel bloated, the best way to describe it is I feel like the marshmallow man from the Ghostbusters movie is having a dance party in my belly after I drink a soda. I still overeat occasionally, this week especially for some reason. I think it has something to do with the stress I've got going on in school and stuff. But overall I'm doing really well.

I'll never go on a diet, I'll never "watch what I eat" or anything like that again. The word diet puts a bad taste in my mouth, it's like it's become a bad word to me or something.

I'm so thankful for McKella. For meeting her, for becoming her friend, and for her showing me this book. I'm lucky to have her. She's a truly wonderful person inside and out. (:

Sociology

Never have I been so thankful for my major and the classes I've had to take in the process of getting into my major than I have this year. I've learned so much from all of my classes over the last 3 semesters.
In ASL I'm getting closer to being fluent. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm getting into the upper division classes this coming spring sememster. That scares me, but makes me super excited at the same time. It feels good to finally be settled on a major and be progressing. While I was going through the classes finding a major a lot of times it felt like I was just standing still. Now that I have all (but my math credits) of my generals done I really feel like I'm going somewhere. It's wierd to me to think I'm 21 years old and a senior in college. I've still got at least another 2 1/2 years to go until I'm done with school. But 24 isn't bad.
I've been so thankful for my Sociology classes I've taken. I wasn't super excited to take them when I saw that they were required in my major, but I saw how they were applicable. Since it is the study of society and understanding the different cultures that reside in it. I figured I could breeze through the classes and vomit the necessary information for the class after the final was over. But then I got to my Sociology 1010 class. First of all my teacher was INCREDIBLE, she was so nice and it was enjoyable to go to her class. She was always upfront and honest about everything, including marriage. She always stressed that being married isn't always butterflies and rainbows. I already knew that, but she gave good information about marriage, things that I took to heart for when I do get married one of these days.
She taught us some things about going through a traumatic life experience that I've kept in the storage of my brain just to prepare myself for when tough times come my way. It's bound to happen. It happens to everyone. The first thing she told us was to do it "clean". By that she means don't self medicate, don't drink, don't do drugs. Now I've never had a problem with any of that, it's never something I've done. But it was good advice. Sometimes when I'm feeling down I think, "I'd be okay with having a drink right now." But then I think about what she said and I decide against it. I never plan on becoming an alcoholic (I don't think anyone does, really) but it could be considered a type of self-medicating. Lo and behold, this year has thrown me some curve balls I never would have thought I'd have to deal with. My teacher told us that there are different levels of sadness when dealing with loss. Anger, barganing, denial, depression, and acceptance. All very important things to keep in mind. I went through a loss this year that I never saw coming, but during the grieving process, I was able to identify the different levels of grieving and saw that they were healthy. Some people tend to think their thoughts are irrational and worry about the way they're thinking. It was good to have that comfort of knowing everything I was feeling was good.
Then I took a Sociology of Deviance class this semester. I loved the class. I've learned about all kinds of deviant behaviors. By definition, deviant means anything that is considered out of the norm. That can be ANYTHING depending on where you live and how you grew up. Basically the class has gone over the big ones like drugs, abuse, prostitution, etc. The ones that are generally accepted to be deviant, though even these ones mentioned above can be considered normal for some individuals. I realized now that I'm taking some really great things out of this class. I got a pamphlet and a presentation on how to prevent suicide. I learned how to look for the warning signs and what to say, where to get help, all of those things. It was wonderful. I also learned that people going through something that is considered deviant need support, especially if they're looking to discontinue the deviant behavior. It's been important to keep that in mind. It's another thing I've stowed away into my brain for future use.
We went to a juvennile detention center for the class and we learned about the kinds of kids that are there, why they're there, and what kinds of services they get while they're there. One thing that was emphasized is that those kids need a support system to be able or willing to overcome their struggles. I think it's true. The lady who gave us the tour gave us a very good example of what support means:
There was a boy that came into the facility that had been in more than a few times. He just didn't care anymore. He was adopted out when he was young and his mother didn't want anything to do with him. His adopted family had written him off, and his chosen father hadn't been in his life at all. The kid just didn't care where his life was going because no one cared about him. No one. If no one cares about you, why try, right? So he didn't. Then he came into the facility at one point and his birth father decided he was going to try to build a relationship with his son. This kid had no one to turn to,this was his last chance to gain some sort of relationship. The father decided he wanted to help his son in any way possible. The staff at the facility sat the kid down and had a pretty serious talk with him and pretty much told him, "Look, dude. This is your last shot. Don't screw this up." So he tried, and he pushed and he eventually walked out of the facility and never came back. It's incredible what a little bit of support can do.
Basically what I'm trying to say is there are some wonderful things that I have taken out of going to college. Had I not, I don't know where I'd be or what I'd be doing, but I dont' know if I'd be as happy. I dont' really care to find out either way. But this is a message to you all (if anyone even reads this rediculously long brain dump) because one of these days you'll come across someone that's going through a tough time. They're going to need someone there to remind them why they're doing it. Be strong, be there for them. They won't suceed if you're not there. It's not going to be easy, it's not going to be fun. But if they come out a little better, or at the best, totally better it's absolutely worth it. It's service for your fellow man, which is one of the ways you can get as close to the ol' man upstairs as you can get. It's good for your life, it's good for your soul and it's bettering people in the world.
Let me know if anyone ever delves into read this. And let me know what you think, K? Just leave a comment. (: Thanks, friend.