This week has been a week of rebellion. (On a small scale.)

Intuitive eating is all about allowing yourself to eat what you want when you're hungry. That means not restricting what you're eating, because once you restrict it, you're going to want it more. Then once you allow yourself to eat what you want, there's a good chance you'll binge and eat too much. So the first thing you've got to do is allow yourself to eat what you want.

And pay attention to how it makes you feel when you eat your favorite foods.

In the book it tells you it's okay to eat the foods you want and it's okay to act against that rebellion that's inside you that's been eating away ('scuse the pun) at you and eat the good foods.

This week I ate a lot of foods that were higher in fat and not the healthiest for me. I've done my best to leave the bad self talk out and just let myself enjoy the food.
I've been paying attention to how the food made me feel. When I ate it, how happy it made me.

And it's been paying off.

I've also been eating breakfast. It's not much breakfast, just a granola bar and some Carnation instant breakfast. But hey, it's breakfast. More than I've eaten for breakfast in a long time.

I've noticed some positive change as well.

I've noticed my belly's starting to get where I want it to be.

My thighs are getting to where I want them to be.

I feel lighter.

I feel happy on the inside becasue I'm noticing small changes in what I'm doing.

It fees good.

Alternatively, this week has been a little emotional.

For some reason this week has brought up a lot of feelings toward my father.

I looked him up on facebook and got this overwhelming feeling that I had been utterly replaced by his new family. His daughter I'm sure doesn't remember me and his son probably doesn't even know I exist. (they're my blood brother and sister and they probably will never know I'm 20 minutes away from them.)

Normally I don't piss in my pity pot, so to speak. I don't believe in wallowing in self-pity.

But for some reason, all of that anger I had back in middle school when I realized he didn't want a relationship with me all came rushing to me.

I haven't spoken to him in 8 years. It hasn't bothered me in a looooong time.

Maybe it's because I know he's so close and maybe he's looked me up on facebook and maybe he just doesn't care anymore.

I don't know.

Anyway. It's been a rough week on the inside of Destinee's head.

But I'm tough. I'll get through it. Just like I always have. Just like I always will.

If my mom taught me anything, it's that you don't have to play the "poor me" game. It doesn't get you anywhere and it's going to be more beneficial to just step up and show the world that nothing's going to keep you down.

It's a good thing I have such a wonderful mom. She's wonderful.

I love her so much.